Tuesday 31 December 2013

On Despising Goals and Resolutions.

Are you good with Goals and Resolutions? My name is Louise Ingram and I am not!

It's that time of year again. I feel like a school kid at the end of term, trembling with a report card in my hand. Feeling like I'll be lucky to garner a few C's - the rest will be even less acceptable. What makes it all the harder is that I KNOW I should be getting A's -- deep inside I KNOW I CAN get A's.

[caption id="attachment_1102" align="alignnone" width="300"]Hope I'm not getting graded on my 'growing out' hair too! Hope I'm not getting graded on my 'growing out' hair too![/caption]

I have Leonie Dawson's 'Amazing Year' planners and Jani Franck's planner for 2014 sitting here. These should be exciting, wondrous things to fill out so why am I not looking at them?

I have realised I have a HUGE monster hanging off my back. It's the 'you are just setting yourself up for failure!' monster. He's not pretty, he's loud and he's obnoxious and every year, at this time especially, he starts screaming in my ear.

Any time anything connected with goal setting comes up - he's there - eyes glinting with joy because he knows just how good he is. The worse thing about it all? He's right! Or at least THAT is what I've let myself believe.

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Why set yourself up for failure? Why spend the year dreading that final report card that points out the long list of things I fell down on. My monster and I have a much better way - we drift. We drift along, take the good and the not so good and at the end of the year my report card is not so harsh. Since I didn't actually HAVE any goals, I haven't actually FAILED at them and there are even some good things that happened regardless. I may have even made a passing grade!

Of course there's a problem with all of this. I know it, even if my monster doesn't. There are actually several problems - not the least of which is the guilt that comes with not setting any goals. There's probably another monster involved there but I'm ignoring it at the minute. Everyone around me it seems is making lists, setting goals, dreaming big and I'm feeling guilty, beaten and a little scared.

I see what's happening, this monster is taking things and turning them into failures and weaknesses. I have given him the power to convince me that nothing good will come of opening those planners.

There is another voice however, it's much smaller and quieter at the minute - but it's talking to me - not about goals but about dreams. Those planners are for dreams! They are for the day to day dreams and for the really big ones. They are for the things that will make my heart sing when I write them down. The things that radiate joy when I think of them and the things that may or may not happen in the coming year.

The real report card I suspect does not come with admonishments on what we haven't done, but is instead covered with gold stars for each and every dream that we have had the courage to dream regardless of the outcome.

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Without our dreams what do we have? If we don't dream we might miss some really important and wonderful opportunities just waiting to happen.

I'm going to try and give that monster a talking to, who knows, just maybe he'd prefer to be a dream coach instead of a Goal Grader.