On Despising Goals and Resolutions.

Are you good with Goals and Resolutions? My name is Louise Ingram and I am not!

It's that time of year again. I feel like a school kid at the end of term, trembling with a report card in my hand. Feeling like I'll be lucky to garner a few C's - the rest will be even less acceptable. What makes it all the harder is that I KNOW I should be getting A's -- deep inside I KNOW I CAN get A's.

[caption id="attachment_1102" align="alignnone" width="300"] Hope I'm not getting graded on my 'growing out' hair too![/caption]

I have Leonie Dawson's 'Amazing Year' planners and Jani Franck's planner for 2014 sitting here. These should be exciting, wondrous things to fill out so why am I not looking at them?

I have realised I have a HUGE monster hanging off my back. It's the 'you are just setting yourself up for failure!' monster. He's not pretty, he's loud and he's obnoxious and every year, at this time especially, he starts screaming in my ear.

Any time anything connected with goal setting comes up - he's there - eyes glinting with joy because he knows just how good he is. The worse thing about it all? He's right! Or at least THAT is what I've let myself believe.



Why set yourself up for failure? Why spend the year dreading that final report card that points out the long list of things I fell down on. My monster and I have a much better way - we drift. We drift along, take the good and the not so good and at the end of the year my report card is not so harsh. Since I didn't actually HAVE any goals, I haven't actually FAILED at them and there are even some good things that happened regardless. I may have even made a passing grade!

Of course there's a problem with all of this. I know it, even if my monster doesn't. There are actually several problems - not the least of which is the guilt that comes with not setting any goals. There's probably another monster involved there but I'm ignoring it at the minute. Everyone around me it seems is making lists, setting goals, dreaming big and I'm feeling guilty, beaten and a little scared.

I see what's happening, this monster is taking things and turning them into failures and weaknesses. I have given him the power to convince me that nothing good will come of opening those planners.

There is another voice however, it's much smaller and quieter at the minute - but it's talking to me - not about goals but about dreams. Those planners are for dreams! They are for the day to day dreams and for the really big ones. They are for the things that will make my heart sing when I write them down. The things that radiate joy when I think of them and the things that may or may not happen in the coming year.

The real report card I suspect does not come with admonishments on what we haven't done, but is instead covered with gold stars for each and every dream that we have had the courage to dream regardless of the outcome.



Without our dreams what do we have? If we don't dream we might miss some really important and wonderful opportunities just waiting to happen.

I'm going to try and give that monster a talking to, who knows, just maybe he'd prefer to be a dream coach instead of a Goal Grader.

Green Man Dreaming

I'm trying to make a Green Man bead.

For a while now I've been wanting to create a male themed bead to balance my Goddesses, I'm working on Cernunnos, he's tricky in glass.  My head is swimming with the Green Man at the moment so I thought I'd try him as well.

Here is the progression of my Green Man design.  With glass it can be tricky to get one part looking good without simultaneously melting in something you've already done.  Concentration on one part of the beads can lead to letting another part getting too cool so that it cracks when it's re-introduced to the flame - it's all a matter of balance, patience and nerves of steel!



This is my first attempt.  I was thinking of a stone face with leaves bursting forth.  This is not what I had in mind.  He looks impish which I guess is ok, but I don't like the way the bead looks as a whole.  I decided to try again.



 

I like this one rather more, my sculpting is better but I don't automatically think 'Green Man!' when I look at him.



 

Number three faired no better, he's just not quite what I really want.  I think it's time to loose the idea of a light coloured face.



 

This one was a deviation and I rather like it - no worry about sculpting a whole a face, it has more mystery associated with it, all in all I rather like this one.



 

My fifth attempt is heading somewhere!  I've been pulling leaf canes, which are strands of multicoloured green glass that add a little more dimension to the leaves.



 

Yes, I might be on to something but I think I need some larger leaves in his face and a bit more contrast in the leaves.



 

Ahhh!!!!  Getting closer!!  I actually rather like this one, I need more practise with the larger leaves.



This is number 8!  As far as I have got at the moment.  I want to make some leaf cane with a bit more orange in it and some that is maybe a bit darker, but I feel like I'm beginning to get the idea behind this design.

Bit by bit it comes together, each of these beads with the leaf cane in them took about an hour to make, first I have to wind the molten glass onto the mandrel and then shape the base bead.  Next I inset the eyes and outline them with leaf cane.  A rudimentary nose gets put in place as does the lower lip.  From then I work from the outside in, slowly laying down leaves and building up the design, the last thing is to finish off the nose.  Then I flip the bead over and work on the second side, I've decided for now to use my new stamps for this - I have an acorn, oak leaf and star/sun design.

It's definitely a challenge.  In my head is the most gorgeous glass Green Man bead - I don't know if I will ever make it, but I'm having fun trying!

 

 

What a difference a day makes

[caption id="attachment_998" align="alignnone" width="700"] Yesterday[/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1003" align="alignnone" width="700"] Today[/caption]

 

[caption id="attachment_999" align="alignnone" width="700"] Yesterday[/caption]

 

[caption id="attachment_1002" align="alignnone" width="700"] Today[/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1001" align="alignnone" width="700"] Yesterday[/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1000" align="alignnone" width="700"] Yesterday[/caption]

 

[caption id="attachment_1004" align="alignnone" width="700"] Today[/caption]

Yesterday, sunny, cold, crispy.  Today misty, still, blanketed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Perhaps we are dreamers

Dreams are curious things, I woke up this morning with what seemed like dozens of fragments of different dreams in my head.

The more I tried to pursue them the further away down squirrely tunnels they fled.



Sometimes I can remember my dreams clearly, other times I'll be able to grasp at a meaning that seems to make sense, or a dream will impart heightened emotions that bring me to tears or great joy.  There have been occasions where my Dad has visited me, once in glorious HD, hyper real as though I were seeing him through the eyes of an eagle, more real than I ever saw him in life.  He let me hug him to prove that he really was there and he was a solid being as real as any I encounter when I am awake.

“All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream.” ― Edgar Allan Poe

Dreams are a mystery. 

Tim Freke suggests also that life is a 'dream'.

Life is a dream for the wise, a game for the fool, a comedy for the rich, a tragedy for the poor.
Sholom Aleichem

What is life? A madness. What is life? An illusion, a shadow, a story. And the greatest good is little enough: for all life is a dream, and dreams themselves are only dreams.
Pedro Calderón de la Barca

I rather like Tim Freke's idea of living lucidly, I know that when I feel connected a wonderful sense of joy and love fills me and wonderful things start to happen.

Row, row, row your boat,
Gently down the stream,
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily,
Life is but a dream.
Traditional.

Several things come together when I think of dreams, fleeting thoughts of how the universe might really be, questions that will forever remain unanswered, in this lifetime at least.



Are we the dreamers dreaming the dream?

The Shapers shaping the shapes?

Energy beings riding the cusp of a wave of creation and expansion?

All of the above?  None of the above?  Will we know the answer one day?  Do we hold the answer now?

Ahhh the mystery of Life.

Ten Things to Help Unblock

Here are ten tips that might help if you are feeling blocked.

We've all been there!  Frustration clouding our minds, that feeling of having come to the end of any creativity we may have had and comparing ourselves to other things and people we see.  Feeling not up to it - feeling not good enough - feeling blocked!



I've been feeling that way for a few weeks now.  I had been excited about setting up and getting to work on what seemed at first to be a brilliant idea 'The Blue Sky Caravan'.  Then it happened, little things chipped away at my confidence, wheels started spinning, progress came to a halt - I was stuck in the mud and that caravan was too heavy to push!

An email got me thinking and led to this post.

Overnight my blocks seem to have cleared, I'm feeling enthused, full of ideas and understanding a little more about the process.

Here we go - ten tips if you feeling blocked!

1. DON'T PANIC!!
   I realise that many times I am feeling blocked and unable to make progress there is a very good reason for it - its because I am learning something!  Sometimes I don't even realise that I am learning something, all I see is that I'm not progressing the way I want to.  When I make my beads I seem to go through fits and spurts and now I understand why.  The times I am unsatisfied and feeling stuck are actually the times that new ideas are percolating, or I haven't perfected some technique I want to.  Then all of a sudden one day something clicks and onward I go.


2. Try seeing things from a different perspective.
   Its so easy to get stuck looking at the block the same way over and over, and not being able to see through it.  Step back and look at it from a different point of view.
   
   [caption id="attachment_882" align="alignnone" width="300"] Graphic courtesy of https://www.facebook.com/science.alliance.now[/caption]


3. Make a list.
   Writing down the thing that is blocking you and breaking it into small parts in the form of a list may help.  You might find something small in the list that you can do to help you move forward. Perhaps it's just one thing that is holding you back.  Remember that saying - "Rome wasn't built in a day"!  However tiny the steps may be you'll be making progress.


4. Check out what others are doing.
   Search the web, look in magazines, or around in your community.  Notice what others in your field are doing - there's no need to copy, you'll likely find some ideas come to mind that will connect with what you already have and give you a bit of a boost.


5.  Switch it up!
   If its possible take a break and do something different.  Focussing your thoughts on something else for a while might be just what you need.


6. Don't Compare.
   Try hard not to compare yourself with others doing similar things.  Don't fall into the trap of  'its all been done before' and 'I have nothing new to offer'.  Nobody would do anything if we all believed that.  You are unique and if you follow your heart then the things you create will also be unique.  Life is for creating!


7. Try Brian Eno's 'Oblique Strategies'
   There's an online version here - don't dismiss what you get out of hand, think about it from different perspectives.  I just tried and got 'twist the spine' - my spine? a book spine?  a leaf spine? What kind of twist?  How can I put a different twist on something.


8. Just DO IT!
   Is part of the problem procrastination?  Is there something you need to get done that you keep putting off?  Is this what is stopping you from moving forward?  Yup, like the magnet my mother gave me 'better to do it than wish it done!


9. Take a walk in nature.
   Yes, something as simple as walk can help.  Nature offers much advice, all we need do is connect and breathe, think of the miracles of the season you are in and remember that even Nature takes a break in Winter to let things germinate. If you don't get unblocked you'll at least be guaranteed to come back with your mind feeling refreshed.


10. Still Stuck?
    Know that you are in the 'now', this is where you are supposed to be and things will progress as they should - give yourself credit for everything you've already achieved.  No-one else on this entire planet has done or can do things exactly the way that  you do!  Its hard to be patient but know that as sure as you got stuck you will also become free.  If you honestly can't do anything to move forward right now then take some time to be kind to yourself in whatever way seems best.  Take a look at these famous folks who overcame adversity and you just might find your roadblocks are really only pebbles.

Trains of thought

Yesterday I was sent a link to a website.

It wasn't a very pretty website, the animal photography for sale wasn't particularly good, mushy focus, composition that wasn't appealing and yet it got me thinking.

The first train  that my brain jumped on was the one that said 'this isn't very good - how can this person think that people will want to buy this?  The website isn't working properly, the whole thing is rather a mess'.

Then I realised I was on the wrong train!!



What I needed to consider was that the person who put this website up was putting herself out in the world.  She had likely worked hard to get the website looking the best she could.  She probably took all of the photos with love for the subjects and she had confidence in herself that allowed to her to get as far as she had.

She is out there, doing her thing, making a go of selling her photography, art and other products and for that she should be congratulated!

It's easy to judge other people by what we see, but much more rewarding to stop and think a little harder - to look for the things that might not be immediately apparent.

This person could be a beacon for those of us who might not quite have it all together, those with self doubts and those who are waiting until they get things just right.  Today is the day to put yourself out there, we can all find ways to improve what we do, but first we need to get started!

 



Which train are you on?

 

Commissions and Creativity

Are you an artist?  Have you been asked to create a commissioned piece?  How did you feel about that?  How do you handle commissions?

I suspect that some people thrive on them, can see them as a challenge to get their creative teeth into and love the ideas and energy that flows when creating something outside the realm of what they may normally consider doing.

[caption id="attachment_820" align="alignnone" width="206"] Pre-Goddess[/caption]

There is another side to the coin though and if commissions leave you feeling blocked you may need to find a way to say 'no' gracefully.

In the past I have created commissioned beads, eager to try some new technique or thought process, but I have come to understand they are not what I want to be doing.

[caption id="attachment_821" align="alignnone" width="300"] Early Goddess beads[/caption]

Recently I've had requests for certain styles of beads I have made and sold in the past.  Each time someone would ask me if I was going to make 'more of those....' my immediate response would be - 'yes, I hope to have some in the near future'.

A recent conversation on Jani Franck's Blooming Business Facebook group got me doing some serious thinking.

[caption id="attachment_824" align="alignnone" width="289"] Evolving Goddess[/caption]

I learned some important things.  I learned why I said 'yes' to each of these requests -- turns out there was more than one reason.  I said 'yes' because I didn't want to let people down, I said 'yes' because I wanted to keep customers and make sales and I said 'yes' because I honestly thought it would be no big deal to make more of a certain design.

While these might be good reasons to say 'yes', I now realise I had a bigger reason for saying 'no'.

[caption id="attachment_823" align="alignnone" width="266"] Perfecting shapes[/caption]

I found myself not wanting to light my torch,  feeling blocked and weighed down by the thought of recreating beads I had made before.  Several designs loomed as deterrents to my creativity and joy.  I wasn't just not making these requested beads - I wasn't making any beads!

How does this affect potential buyers?  At best they may drift away forgetting that I exist, at worse they will come to see me as someone who doesn't deliver what she says she will.

[caption id="attachment_822" align="alignnone" width="266"] Learning skills - becoming more intricate[/caption]

The lack of momentum, the not following through, the finding excuses not to torch all left me feeling guilty which added to the list of reasons I didn't want to make beads.

At this point I probably should say -- I am eternally grateful to anyone who has ever bought one of my beads or even requested a particular style.  It's a huge thing to feel accepted and validated by somebody else - to have my art appreciated and purchased gives me the ability and desire to continue.

BUT  I now know that next time someone asks me for a bead 'like this' or 'one of those you made before', I will be proactive.  I will gently explain that I cannot guarantee that I will replicate any of my previous designs, that this uniqueness  is a part of what makes them special.  I may make something similar in the future, but the designs are always evolving and changing --- AND improving!

[caption id="attachment_825" align="alignnone" width="300"] Gaining skills, evolving desings[/caption]

As artists we are not mass producers, we create the ideas that flow through us.  To be true to ourselves and our art - AND our customers we need to understand the things that make us feel blocked and if necessary how to politely say 'no'.

Colour Wheel

As our earth and the  year spins through it's seasons we are treated to nature's palette of colours.

None of these are more glorious than at this time of year - Autumn. 

 

It seems to me we may not have as many reds this year but instead have been gifted the most beautiful oranges and golds, set like jewels in the sun on blue skies.



 

I've always enjoyed the crunch of leaves underfoot, and breathed deep on those Autumn days that were still warm and glowing.  It's only recently though that I have come to really appreciate Autumn for the season that it is.  The season of slowing down, of preparing for the Winter ahead and the season of glorious nature giving us one last show before she sleeps until Spring.



 

Autumn is the most wonderful time to look around and really appreciate all that we have.  Not just in our own lives but in the wider world, in the procession of time and the changing carnival before our eyes.



 

On this walk I found a young oak.  The sun was lighting up the leaves in blazing greens, yellows, oranges and reds - all at once.



How can one small tree be so many things all at one time - show so many different facets of itself in one instance.



After all is not 'just' a tree?



 

A walk in nature at any time not only stretches our muscles and cleans our lungs but also refreshes our spirit and our mind.



 

This walk was a reminder to me - to let all of my colours shine, especially the elusive red!

 

Fungusumungus

It's Thanksgiving weekend here in Ontario and the weather is unseasonably mild.  We decided to make the most of the sunny afternoon and take a walk along one of our favourite trails in our area - the Tip to Tip trail in Burritts Rapids.



 

It's a beautiful path that climbs gently up a spit of land between the Rideau River and Rideau canal.

What a perfect day!  The geese were honking and the trees are glorious - not quite so red this year I fancy, but bedecked in glorious shades of gold and orange.



 

This one is one of my favourites - leaves long gone but it's oozing with personality.

I wish I were a gatherer, I wish I knew what to pick that is edible but I don't.  I suggested we look for fungi and see what we could find.  Not to eat of course, no, no!  Just to take pictures!  I was actually surprised at just how many different kinds we found.

There were tiny ones clinging to branches -



 

And drifts of others looking like a flock of moths.

[caption id="attachment_798" align="alignnone" width="480"] Turkey Tail fungus - thanks Jane :D[/caption]

 

Dead and dying trees are great places to look, this tree had a huge hole on one side - I can't help thinking someone must find that rather cozy.



On the other side look what we found!



 

They look like fairy mushrooms growing in pairs up the trunk!



 

 



 

Another tree was sprouting these -



 



 

If anyone knows their fungi I'd love it if you emailed me to let me know what these all are :)



 

I read something about mycelium once - the root system of fungi and mushrooms - I have the feeling if we had x-ray vision and could see through the forest we would be amazed at the network that runs everywhere bringing these otherworldly growths to life.



 

It will probably be Spring before we get to look again as over the next few weeks we'll see temperatures fall away and that will mean that the snow is not far behind.

The colours on this walk were so beautiful and I'll share them in my next post ;)